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Band 5.5

Strength and Weakness analysis for the scholarship analysis

#strength #weakness #analysis #scholarship
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My name is Sri Hernita Barus. I graduated with a Bachelor's degree
of
Change preposition
in
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 Accounting in 2012 from the University of Indonesia, with a Cum Laude predicate. Since graduating, I took several roles around Accounting
such
Linking Words
 as external auditor, accountant specialist, and tax. Other than doing regular job tasks, I have been involved in several operational finance projects, initiated the improvement projects of the accounting and finance
process
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, and composed the Company's financial performance for management input. Having through various situations in professional work, I learned plenty of soft skills,
such
Linking Words
 as communication, teamwork, goal-focus, and solution-minded. For the
last
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two
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 years, I worked in a Start-up Company within
Financial
Correct article usage
the Financial
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 technology industry. As an early employee, I have got the opportunity to build the operational
process
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 from scratch, experience the failures and quick changes to be aligned with the business focus. I am keen these experiences will be essential in my future
education
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 and work plan.
Although
Linking Words
 my current experience is more into Finance, my passion is always aimed towards
children
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's
education
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. Since college, I joined a student volunteering organization that supports
education
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 for marginal
school
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-aged
children
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 near campus by giving supplementary academic courses and informal activities. Since
then
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, I started to enjoy working for less privileged
children
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, especially for
education
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. While working, I continued my passion by joining a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) called “Sahabat Anak” (Friends of
Children
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) as a volunteer.
This
Linking Words
 organization aims to
support
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 the rights of street
children
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 located in Jakarta. I started volunteering in 2016 and took on several responsibilities from the tutor, project team, fundraiser committee, and
scholarship
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 coordinator at one of Sahabat Anak's branches for
two
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 years. In
this
Linking Words
 role, I was responsible for maintaining the relationship between donors and awardees, observing the
scholarship
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 candidates, and conducting the
scholarship
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 selection
process
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. Currently, I am still an active volunteer in Sahabat Anak, and over time, I am more convinced that the development field, specifically
children
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's
education
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, is my life's calling. During my volunteering in 2016, I met
two
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 out-of-
school
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 kids that actively came to our learning house and participated in our program. During our observation, they don’t have birth certificates and don’t have the knowledge to apply for one. Teaming up with other volunteers, we communicated with the parents to get their permission and
support
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 for their
children
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’s
education
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. In parallel, we collaborated with the private
school
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 committee to get more flexibility in the
school
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 enrolment
process
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hence
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 the
children
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 can start
school
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 timely. I
also
Linking Words
 registered them in our
scholarship
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 program to
support
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 their academic supplies.
As a result
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, they are currently in the 5th grade and have obtained a birth certificate
this
Linking Words
 year. The following year, I took the initiative to
support
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two
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 stateless
children
Use synonyms
 who were excited about going to
school
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. The
process
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 was much easier since we got
support
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 from parents and teamed up with volunteers with legal backgrounds to obtain the complete set of required identities.
Therefore
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, the
children
Use synonyms
 can easily register in public schools with a free tuition fee.
Submitted by sri.hernita on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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