IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that economic growth is the only solution to stop poverty and hunger, while others think that economic growth is damaging the environment and should be stopped immediately. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's modern era, the impact of economic
development
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 is debated.
some
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Some
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 people believe that it is harming the
environment
Use synonyms
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
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 others believe that economic
development
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 is helping countries to eradicate
poverty
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 and hunger. in my ,opinion the only way to stop
poverty
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 is through economic advancement by creating jobs and growth in various sectors.
Firstly
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, to end
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poverty
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poverty,
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 the
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 of those
third world
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third-world
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 countries need to create more jobs by building plants for producing goods to export. these factories will create demand for labour and eventually these workers will have a source of income.
Therefore
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, they can create wealth and improve their lifestyle.
Furthermore
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, countries that have limited natural resources need to grow their economies in different sectors in order to end
poverty
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.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 Singapore
they have
Wrong verb form
has
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 spent many years in the financial sector in order to stay competitive in the market
and
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, and
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 now they have become the richest nation in the whole Asia region.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that building the economy of a country will affect the
environment
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.
some
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Some
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 people argue that it will accelerate global warming because
development
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 often involves deforestation. Trees are cut down to build houses.
As a result
Linking Words
, carbon dioxide will increase significantly and potentially
will
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apply
show examples
worsen the global warming issues.
However
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, halting the economy is not the solution
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; rather
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rather
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rather,
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 we should find ways to grow the economy without harming the
environment
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. In conclusion,
although
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 some economic damage will inevitably occur
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,
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people can enjoy
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 life when jobs are created. If the country says no to environmental
development
Use synonyms
 for the sake of the
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environment
Punctuation problem
environment,
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 they will not be able to survive for long.
Therefore
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, on balance, I believe that economic
development
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 is the only way for the country to grow and prosper
as
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; as
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such
Linking Words
it
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, it
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 should not be halted.

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task-response
Be clear about your own view and keep the balance of both sides.
coherence
Use better link words to show how ideas connect.
grammar
Check grammar and fix errors in verb form and on plurals.
examples
Give more concrete examples and explain them.
mechanics
Check spelling and punctuation for clean writing.
structure
Your plan shows intro, body and conclusion.
content
You talk about how growth can help and mention the env.
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