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Writing Samples
Band 4

Childhood obesity is a growing concern these days. How can we solve this problem?

#childhood #obesity #concern
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These days a large number of children and not only are suffering from obesity.
This
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 is mostly due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unhealthy foods and people’s refusal to exercise. So what can be done about
this
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 problem?
To begin
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 with, an effective solution would be to encourage people to have healthy meals at school and at work.
For instance
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, they could make their own food at home or sign a petition for having healthy meals at the place they work or study.
As a result
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, a lot
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 people would stop buying unhealthy food and snacks and eventually they would get used to eating healthy. Another solution would be to find more time for exercising.
For example
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, anyone could create a schedule and go to the gym in their free time and eventually lower their fats.
Consequently
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, more and more people are going to start exercising more frequently, it will become a habit and everyone is going to get healthy. In conclusion, I believe that it is possible to solve
this
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 problem with ease. All the responsibilities lie on ourselves, so we must take our
live
Replace the word
lives
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in
Change preposition
into
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 our hands before it’s too late.
Submitted by taniadim74 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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