Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#schools

Bullying - is one of the main

problems

of all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time.

This

problems

Fix the agreement mistake

problem

show examples

was in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

earlier life and still continues to bother modern society.

To begin

with

causes

Correct article usage

the causes

show examples

of the bullying , there

many

Add a missing verb

are many

show examples

reasons for

this

. Let's look at several main examples. At

first

, money is one of the vital examples . It's not a secret that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

many

people

used to

respected

Replace the word

respect

show examples

wealthy families.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

they used to bully

whom

Change the pronoun

who

show examples

is poor and

despitse

Correct your spelling

despite

despise

despised

them. And

this

problem still continues even , in our modern , educated century. In the

second

place , health and

appearence

Correct your spelling

appearance

Change the verb form

are

show examples

also

important to many humans . They like

good- looking

Correct your spelling

good-looking

show examples

people

. Even, some

people

consider that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

dressing is a key

Change preposition

show examples

communicating with society. And students from poor families

and

Correct word choice

who

show examples

have some

problems

with their health are

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

bullied students in the schools.

This

affects decreases enthusiasm for learning and causes to be depressed. And their goals, dreams die. To solve

this

Change the determiner

this problem

these problems

show examples

problems

I would suggest

Change preposition

apply

show examples

any educational places , like school , university etc. to

emloy

Correct your spelling

employ

more psychologists . And to work more directly with students. In conclusion , bullying, despiting and other actions are like

this

human's main lack .

However

, we cannot say that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

all

people

are like

this

Fortunatelly

Correct your spelling

Fortunately

Unfortunately

, there are many

geneours

Correct your spelling

generous

and understanding

people

. From my point of view , these good

people

helped us to live in peace.

Submitted by amankeldia72 on Thu Mar 24 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

242 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Bullying
Harassment
Intimidation
Diversity
Adolescent
Mimic
Aggressive behavior
Cyberbullying
Peer pressure
Social acceptance
Awareness
Conflict resolution
Peer mediation
Consequences
Respect
Kindness
Open communication
Vulnerable
Buddy system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.
While some individuals argue that the most crucial environmental concern today revolves around the endangerment of a wide variety of plants and animals, others believe that there are more pressing and significant environmental issues at hand. This essay will thoroughly analyze both perspectives before ultimately affirming my agreement with the latter.
6
band
ou ordered a new cheque book from your bank two weeks ago but you have received nothing. Write a letter to the manager complaining about the bad service. Say when and how you ordered the cheque book. Ask how much longer you will have to wait and ask the manager what action he will take over this matter.
I am writing this letter because, about two weeks ago I ordered a cheque book not been received till now.
<4
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
The society is currently facing an increase in the elderly population, which has sparked debates about the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon. While it can be beneficial for the world at a macroscopic level, it can be harmful to certain countries. In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of an aging population.
4.5
band
Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to paly with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?
It is true that many children have a lot of playthings. Play benefits have much more, but having a large number of toys has many advantages and drawbacks. I describe it below in detail.
6.5
band
In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?
Many businesses permit their staff members to work remotely through computers in The 21st century . Despite there being a few negatives to be linked to this tendency, I feel that the possible benefits would be far more considerable.

Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to paly with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?