IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #life #countryside
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, choosing where one can live to have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future has raised many arguments. Some people believe that
cities
Use synonyms
 provide much more positive points for their residents while others opine that rural areas would be appropriate places. I, personally, agree with the former one and in forthcoming
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
 I shall clean my thoughts.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
cities
Use synonyms
 especially metropolitan
cities
Use synonyms
 offer a wide range of opportunities for ones' improvement. To explain
this
Linking Words
, many job opportunities
offering
Wrong verb form
offered
show examples
 by big companies would be available for city dwellers. Take "Digikala" and "
Irancel
Correct your spelling
Irancell
" as well-paid firms which are located in
capital
Add an article
the capital
show examples
 of Iran and as a job requirement they hire individuals who live within a close distance of their central offices. What is more, almost all qualified educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 have been situated in modern
cities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 definitely
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
brighter
Correct article usage
a brighter
show examples
 future for those ones who can benefit from
such
Linking Words
 a beneficial academic environment. Schools and universities not only have experienced staff who could develop
talents
Correct article usage
the talents
show examples
 of pupils
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right way
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 they have been equipped with up-to-minute devices. All these advantages would contribute to
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadening
show examples
 ones' horizon and
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 their awareness.
In addition
Linking Words
, people in
cities
Use synonyms
 could be
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
healthier. To explicate, there have been a number of outstanding health
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 in
such
Linking Words
 places. Facilities including equipped hospitals and gyms shall boost
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 well-being. City residents could check their health conditions frequently via getting reliable tests in nearby laboratories and enjoy exercising by enrolling in different types of gyms in every vicinity.
However
Linking Words
, it is argued that living in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside offers some positive points,
such
Linking Words
 as
relaxed
Correct article usage
a relaxed
show examples
 lifestyle,
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 organic foods, clean air. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 living in
Correct article usage
a
show examples
rustic environment have some benefits, the great opportunities which are offered in cosmopolitan
cities
Use synonyms
 are something that could not be ignored.
Submitted by Fataremi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: