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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some employers involve their emoplyees in their decision-making process. Do the advantages outwiegh the disadvantages?

#employers #emoplyees #process #outwiegh
It is considered that few owners of the organization are organising
the
Correct article usage
apply
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meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
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 with their
workers
for taking
Change preposition
to take
show examples
opinions
Correct pronoun usage
their opinions
show examples
 when they need to launch
the
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apply
show examples
innovative products in the markets. I believe that the merits of
this
 trend are eclipsed by its demerits.
To commence
Fix the infinitive
Commence
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with
Change preposition
apply
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the drawbacks of
this
 phenomenon when the workforce
is participated
Wrong verb form
participates
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 and
getting
Wrong verb form
gets
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right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to present their views. The most predominant one is that they always gave preference to those decisions which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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benefited them. To explain it, it may prohibit the growth of the
company
due to
 giving first priority to themselves
instead
 of taking care of the whole industry.
For example
, a headline of the famous channel BBC BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPORATION revealed that 40% of the
business
 loss was experienced by the Amazon Website because they got assistance from their labour to change some regulations in the
company
. So, getting advice from the employees may have a detrimental effect on the
business
.
On the other hand
, there are various benefits for giving the rights to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ordinary
workers
 to give their suggestions. The most prominent is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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confidence which can
boost
Wrong verb form
be boosted
show examples
 as it helps the employees to make extra efforts as these are essential in the competitive world to compete with other multinational companies. To explain it, they will feel comfortable in the workplace and do their work full of motivation.
For instance
, a survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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conducted by the Reebook
Company
 found that the 50% economy of their
business
 is increased per year by giving importance to the advice of
workers
.
Thus
, it has many positive sides which are useful for the
business
as well as
workers
. In conclusion,
although
this
 can lead to negative consequences I reiterate that
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 sides cannot be underestimated and these contribute to the long-term progress of the
company
 which will be fruitful for both of them.
Submitted by lovepreetkaur2725 on

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task response
Expand on the disadvantages and advantages in more detail. Provide specific examples and evidence to support your points. Ensure that each paragraph sticks to one main idea and transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Also, provide a concise summary in the conclusion that reinforces your stance.
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