In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Health
problems
are increasing all around the world for
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years and the most important issue between these
problems
is
weight
Add an article
the weight
show examples
of
people
. Weight
problems
can cause
nomurous
Correct your spelling
numerous
problems
for
people
's
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
and jobs. With the advanced technology and with the help of robots day by day life is getting easier and easier.
Human kind
Correct your spelling
Humankind
show examples
do
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does
show examples
not need to do heavy duties and they do not need to
work
hard as used to.
Although
this
is good, can have some
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
aspects, too. As
i
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I
show examples
mentioned in the previous paragraph, I subscribe to the notion that
,
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apply
show examples
the most important reason for
health
problems
is that
people
do not have enough activity during
day
Add an article
the day
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
portion of
people
do not do
exercise
and
this
is make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
even worst for their
health
. I believe
,
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apply
show examples
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
status of countries can
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
people
's
health
, too. In wealthy
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
people
do not
work
too much
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, they have more time to spend and
this
is actually can
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
exercise
rate.
On the other hand
, in countries with
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
economy
people
have to
work
6 to 6 to meet the
days
Change noun form
day's
show examples
need and after
work
they are too tired to do any other activities, thereby they would not do
exercise
. In my view, nowadays,
people
are too busy with their duties and tasks and it can be another reason for not doing
exercise
. Simply because they do not have time to do
exercise
. From my
perpective
Correct your spelling
perspective
,
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
should shoulder the responsibility and make
Add an article
a plan
show examples
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
for
people
's spare time.
In addition
to that,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
should spend to advertise and teach
somekinds
Correct your spelling
some kinds
some kind
of
exersices
Correct your spelling
exercises
to
people
in order to
doing
Change the verb
do
show examples
them in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
workplace. In conclusion, I uphold the view that, reasons
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
technology, economy and duties
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a key role in
people
's
health
and
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
weight
problems
and beside
people
themselves
also
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should have some plans to take care of their own
people
's
health
status.
Submitted by Aminsedgi on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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