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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

#countries #weight #people #levels #health #fitness #measures
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Health
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problems
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 are increasing all around the world for
many
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any
show examples
reason
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reasons
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 in
the
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apply
show examples
recent years and the most important issue between these
problems
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 is
weight
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the weight
show examples
 of
people
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. Weight
problems
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 can cause
nomurous
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numerous
problems
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 for
people
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's
life
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lives
show examples
 and jobs. With the advanced technology and with the help of robots day by day life is getting easier and easier.
Human kind
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Humankind
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do
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does
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 not need to do heavy duties and they do not need to
work
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 hard as used to.
Although
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this
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 is good, can have some
negetive
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negative
 aspects, too. As
i
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I
show examples
 mentioned in the previous paragraph, I subscribe to the notion that
,
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apply
show examples
 the most important reason for
health
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problems
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 is that
people
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 do not have enough activity during
day
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the day
show examples
.
Furthermore
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,
majority
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the majority
show examples
 portion of
people
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 do not do
exercise
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 and
this
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is make
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makes
show examples
situation
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the situation
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 even worst for their
health
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. I believe
,
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apply
show examples
economic
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the economic
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 status of countries can
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affect
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effect
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affect
show examples
people
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's
health
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, too. In wealthy
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
people
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 do not
work
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 too much
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therefore
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,therefore
show examples
, they have more time to spend and
this
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 is actually can
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affect
show examples
effect
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affect
show examples
 the
exercise
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 rate.
On the other hand
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, in countries with
bad
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a bad
show examples
 economy
people
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 have to
work
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 6 to 6 to meet the
days
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day's
show examples
 need and after
work
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 they are too tired to do any other activities, thereby they would not do
exercise
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. In my view, nowadays,
people
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 are too busy with their duties and tasks and it can be another reason for not doing
exercise
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. Simply because they do not have time to do
exercise
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. From my
perpective
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perspective
,
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government
goverment
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the goverment
show examples
 should shoulder the responsibility and make
Add an article
a plan
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plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
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 for
people
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's spare time.
In addition
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 to that,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 should spend to advertise and teach
somekinds
Correct your spelling
some kinds
some kind
 of
exersices
Correct your spelling
exercises
 to
people
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 in order to
doing
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do
show examples
 them in
there
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their
show examples
 workplace. In conclusion, I uphold the view that, reasons
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 technology, economy and duties
plays
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play
show examples
 a key role in
people
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's
health
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 and
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 weight
problems
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 and beside
people
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 themselves
also
Linking Words
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should have some plans to take care of their own
people
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's
health
Use synonyms
 status.
Submitted by Aminsedgi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
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