IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

As the cost of living rises, most people need more than one job to pay the bills. Describe the possible causes of this and suggest how the problem can be dealt with

In recent times,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the population requires a secondary income source in order to supplement the surge in the
cost
Use synonyms
 of living. Throughout
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will not only discuss the reasons for the rise in living
costs
Use synonyms
 but
also
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 suggest possible solutions to tackle inflation.
To begin
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 with, most people
are finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 earnings from a single job inadequate to pay for their day-to-day expenses. One of the major
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is
escalation
Correct article usage
the escalation
show examples
 in the prices of basic commodities and housing, which is mainly dependent on the economic principles of supply and
demand
Use synonyms
. If the
demand
Use synonyms
 for a specific commodity surpasses its supply,
then
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 there is bound to be a rise in the
cost
Use synonyms
 and
consequently
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 the price.
For instance
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,
due to
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 overpopulation in urban cities, land is becoming a scarce resource,
due to
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 which
the
Verb problem
has caused the
show examples
 value of land has
soared
Wrong verb form
soar
show examples
, having a direct impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing prices. Another reason to be considered for added pressure on sustenance is increased fuel and power
costs
Use synonyms
.
Due to
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 the depletion of coal and oil reserves, the
cost
Use synonyms
 of electricity and transportation has shot up significantly
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
 what it was before. One of the solutions is
Punctuation problem
, ofcourse
show examples
ofcourse
Correct your spelling
of course
to
Punctuation problem
, to
show examples
 restrict the
populaation
Correct your spelling
population
 of a country, though it is quite a herculean task.
However
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, the government can create
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness about the merits of population control by running various campaigns in colleges and communities.
Secondly
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, the government should invest heavily in local manufacturing, which will not only generate employment for the people but will
also
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 ensure that the local
demand
Use synonyms
 is adequately met. In order to combat the issue of fuel and power
costs
Use synonyms
, the answer lies in
acceptance
Correct article usage
the acceptance
show examples
 of alternative energy sources and technology
such
Linking Words
 as renewables and electric vehicles.
For example
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, in
Chile
Add a comma
Chile,
show examples
 most of the electricity is produced from solar and other non-conventional methods with little or practically no dependence on coal or gas. The
above stated
Use the right word
above-stated
show examples
 methods will aid in lowering the living
costs
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
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, excessive
demand
Use synonyms
 with respect to supply and reliance on conventional energy providers are the
majore
Correct your spelling
major
 reasons for high
costs
Use synonyms
,
due to
Linking Words
 which an individual might have to resort to more than one job to pay his bills.
However
Linking Words
, with population control, government intervention to give a boost to local production and having mandates for adopting technologies lowering the levelised
cost
Use synonyms
 of electricity
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 living
costs
Use synonyms
 can be considerably brought down.

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structure
Plan your answer first. Put the idea in order: cause, effect, then fix.
coherence
Use one clear topic sentence for each idea. Use small link words like and, but, also.
content
Give more real and simple examples to back up ideas.
editing
Fix small grammar and spelling errors. Keep sentences short.
conclusion
Close with a short end that repeats your main idea in new words.
structure
Plan and lay out is clear.
content
There is a good try to show both causes and ways to fix.
content
An example of a real country is used to back a point.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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