IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#country #health #service #treatments
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Receiving a common medical treatment is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 basic human right for everyone. While it is the moral responsibility of every nation to provide the required
healthcare
Use synonyms
 to their people, I believe that it is not completely possible for them to cover all recent treatments
at
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apply
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free of cost due to
limited
Correct article usage
the limited
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 budget and large infrastructure changes involved.
To begin
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 with, every country should take care of their citizens by developing
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
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 medical ecosystem;
however
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, not all countries can afford to do
this
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 because of the limited annual
healthcare
Use synonyms
 budget.
For example
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,
for
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apply
show examples
under-developed
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an under-developed
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 country like South Africa has many other challenges
such
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 as education, food, and employment and
that is
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 why they have to spend their majority of funds on
such
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 developments
instead
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 of spending on a
healthcare
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 system.
Hence
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, because of insufficient money, not all global territories can provide the most modern health services.
Furthermore
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, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
having enough funds, developing nations might face a challenge to accommodate frequent infrastructure changes which are required to be done at all hospitals
nation-wide
Correct your spelling
nationwide
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. Though medical advancements have provided the best techniques to cure the disease, sometimes it involves the
upgradation
Correct your spelling
up-gradation
 of equipment. To illustrate, in the recent pandemic covid-19 hospital
staffs
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staff
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 were required to use an expensive personal protective kit and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disposable testing devices along with providing an isolated room to a patient.
Such
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 requirements may require many infrastructure changes in medical facilities.
Thus
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, even though having sufficient money might not mean that
Use synonyms
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
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 system can be altered quickly to adapt
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 treatments. To conclude, it is commonly believed that it is an onus of
regime
Correct article usage
the regime
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 to take care of their natives by providing free health treatments.
However
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, I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion; I think not all countries can cover all modern cures due to
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
 in finance and
upgradation
Correct your spelling
up-gradation
 needed in
medical
Add an article
the medical
a medical
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 ecosystem.
Submitted by hvyas on

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