IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#country #health #service #treatments
Receiving a common medical treatment is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 basic human right for everyone. While it is the moral responsibility of every nation to provide the required
healthcare
 to their people, I believe that it is not completely possible for them to cover all recent treatments
at
Change preposition
apply
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free of cost due to
limited
Correct article usage
the limited
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 budget and large infrastructure changes involved.
To begin
 with, every country should take care of their citizens by developing
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
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 medical ecosystem;
however
, not all countries can afford to do
this
 because of the limited annual
healthcare
 budget.
For example
,
for
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apply
show examples
under-developed
Add an article
an under-developed
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 country like South Africa has many other challenges
such
 as education, food, and employment and
that is
 why they have to spend their majority of funds on
such
 developments
instead
 of spending on a
healthcare
 system.
Hence
, because of insufficient money, not all global territories can provide the most modern health services.
Furthermore
, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
having enough funds, developing nations might face a challenge to accommodate frequent infrastructure changes which are required to be done at all hospitals
nation-wide
Correct your spelling
nationwide
show examples
. Though medical advancements have provided the best techniques to cure the disease, sometimes it involves the
upgradation
Correct your spelling
up-gradation
 of equipment. To illustrate, in the recent pandemic covid-19 hospital
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 were required to use an expensive personal protective kit and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disposable testing devices along with providing an isolated room to a patient.
Such
 requirements may require many infrastructure changes in medical facilities.
Thus
, even though having sufficient money might not mean that
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
 system can be altered quickly to adapt
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 treatments. To conclude, it is commonly believed that it is an onus of
regime
Correct article usage
the regime
show examples
 to take care of their natives by providing free health treatments.
However
, I do not agree with
this
 notion; I think not all countries can cover all modern cures due to
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
 in finance and
upgradation
Correct your spelling
up-gradation
 needed in
medical
Add an article
the medical
a medical
show examples
 ecosystem.
Submitted by hvyas on

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