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Band 4

The government should spent more money on railways than on roads. What do you think about this?

#government #money #railways #roads
It is claimed that it would be better for government to allocate more budget for developing rail
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
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 rather than
Add an article
a harbor
the harbor
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harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
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. I strongly agree with
this
 statement because trains are safer and faster than other vehicles on the wharf,
also
 they're more economical.
line
 in comparison with seaport
are
Change the verb form
is
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 always more reliable for their safety.
For example
, weather conditions and human errors would be less threatening for their performance. These factors in routes can cause in increasing the number of car accidents,
also
 track
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
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 get involved with traffic congestion or
such
 problems.
As a result
, they are more time-saving and safer than other vehicles which are being used on roads. Economical transportation is another factor that must be considered by the government to respond to the public's demands, while the population is growing. I think developing the
line
 would be a long-term solution, as trains can carry more passengers than private cars and even buses. Their tickets
also
 cost less than the price of the petrol needed for the same trip. So it is clear that track can respond to our needs in a better way. In conclusion, I point out that allocating money to develop the
line
 can benefit us by reducing the number of road accidents and saving time and they are
also
 more economical.
Submitted by 1.amir.shokri.7 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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