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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people belive that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #belive #resources #attention #protection #animals #birds
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Of late, there is an uproar over the wealth spent on conserving wildlife. But, I strongly disagree and feel it is too much of a fuss.Predators and birds are invaluable gifts from God, and humans are vested with the responsibility of saving them. Many of them are on the verge of extinction, and I believe that we are spending the right amount of money to preserve them. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain why it is appropriate to spend money on conserving wildlife. Primarily, they play a pivotal role in the proper functioning of the ecosystem. There are countless examples of how a decrease or increase in a particular animal
species
 affects humankind.
For example
, bees help in transferring pollen grains. If bees are reduced in number, there would be low crop yields
due to
 the dearth of pollination. Another classic example would be tigers which are dangerously decreasing in number.
Due to
 the decrease in tigers, the deer population many increased. Deers feed on grass. Increased grazing will lead to loss of habitat for many other
species
.
Also
, the deer many
ventures
Fix the agreement mistake
venture
show examples
 out from forests to cities and towns for food.
Thus
 it is imperative to conserve the soul. Some
species
 are unique to a particular place. For symbol, kangaroos are famous in Australia. Kangaroos bring in a lot of revenue in the form of visitors. Some
species
 help in maintaining the health of the soil, which is of great help to farmers. For illustration, the earthworm feeds on plant and animal wastes , decomposes them, and
release
Correct subject-verb agreement
releases
show examples
 chemicals that restore the soil's nutrients. Man has caused so many problems to exist in the form of hunting, poaching, and deforestation. Man derives numerous benefits from animals. So the amount spent on them is comparatively less. So people who claim that we are spending too much payment on the existence conservation have to sink their differences and help build a good ecosystem.
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task response
There is a lack of clear stance on the issue. The essay should clearly state whether the writer agrees, disagrees, or partially agrees with the given statement. Moreover, the essay should address all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It is important to clearly introduce the topic and provide a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the position. Additionally, the ideas presented in the body paragraphs should be logically organized and connected.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • conservation
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • extinction
  • wildlife tourism
  • resource allocation
  • habitats
  • sustainable development
  • environmental education
  • charismatic species
  • international collaboration
  • invasive species
  • poaching
  • endangered/threatened
  • conservation efforts
  • wildlife management
  • conservation biology
  • ecological balance
  • species preservation
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • animal welfare
  • ecotourism
  • genetic diversity
  • natural heritage
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