IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Small businesses should avoid recruiting young women who do not have their own family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#businesses #women #maternity
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It is commonly believed that small companies should not hire females who do not have married yet because they would have to pay for pregnancy leave in the future.
However
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,I personally disagree with
this
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 opinion and
this
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 essay will discuss the reasons and relevant examples to support my viewpoint.
On the other hand
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,if a company hires married ladies, they need to grant paid maternity leave for the 26 weeks to the female employee to manage work for
this
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 long duration and
also
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 they often need to recruit and train someone else.
Therefore
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, companies end up paying double the amount.Another drawback they consider is that when a female employee comes back, she often needs time to adjust to the changes that happened in the company and would take more days off to care for the child.
For instance
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, the project on which she was working, could now have advanced and she would need time to know all the changes in the project after which only she will be able to contribute to the business.
On the other hand
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, the above view is too critical and does not consider the advantages a woman can bring in, to the organization. Leaving out young ladies from the recruitment process means a company is losing out about 50% of the talent which could be more expensive for startups as they need talented people to grow .
For example
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, some survey by economic times has shown that female employees tend to be more helpful for the organization in times of need which includes staying late in the office for work. Multiple studies have
also
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 shown that women prove to be much more successful in some roles
such
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 as managers etc. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that, businesses hire should avoid young women who do not have their own families because avoid paying maternity leave in future.
However
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,they should consider a benefit about the role of women's work as well.
Submitted by kyp.atthajariya on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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