Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #homes #areas #study #work #cities #development

Most of the youth generation

are

Change the verb form

show examples

moving from urban

areas

to work or study in the

cities

. While the number of unemployed

people

very

Add a missing verb

is very

show examples

high in villages, they must

move

to the

cities

to earn money. The advantages in

this

situation outweigh

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

. On the one hand, villages will start increasingly

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

empty.

People

who

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

to work to feed the family must

move

to the other place, because of it rural

areas

often gets abandoned.

For instance

, the village friend of mine used to visit got abandoned because of its location villagers

also

had no source of income there so they needed to

move

cities

On the other hand

people

are moving from urban

areas

cities

because of knowledge and studying. In the rural

areas

Add a comma

,areas

show examples

educaton

Correct your spelling

education

is horrible, which inspires students to get into modern universities and have a

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

life. Despite the fact that

student

Correct article usage

the student

show examples

is from

village

Correct article usage

a village

show examples

he can become better.

For example

, there was a very clever

scientsists

Correct your spelling

scientists

scientist

, his past is full of bad quality of life, but he did well and became a scientist. To sum up, the drawbacks are important too, but the positives sides outweigh

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

People

who

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

money they gonna

move

cities

which will give them jobs to work.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

studen

Correct your spelling

students

student

can get a better quality of education would

also

migrate to the

cities

Submitted by Allazhar on Sun Mar 27 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

226 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Migration
Urbanization
Educational institutions
Job prospects
Wages
Economic growth
Cultural exchange
Overpopulation
Cost of living
Rural depopulation
Social isolation
Traditional values
Personal growth
Recreational activities

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Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

As major cities in the world are growing today, so do their problems. What are problems for young people who are living in the cities as the result of continued growth? What are solutions for these problems?