It is importnat for children to learn the diffrence between right and wring at an early age. punishment is necessary to hekp them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#importnat #children #diffrence #right #age #punishment #hekp #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour

The ability to distinguish right and wrong is necessary for children. Any adolescent needs to learn some important life skills for a better and a

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

life. It is believed that

punishment

can be used as a helpful tool for teaching values to students. I strongly disagree with

this

because of many reasons.

Firstly

, acting in a bad manner with children can ruin their self-

steem

Correct your spelling

esteem

and

self-confident

Replace the word

self-confidence

show examples

For example

, punishing a kid would increase his sense of inferiority and grief gradually

thus

in future he might lose his self-

steem

Correct your spelling

esteem

and face many psychological disorders.

In other words

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

mind is as important as being able to recognize bad and good.

Secondly

, youngsters need more explanation for a better

underestanding

Correct your spelling

understanding

For instance

, being noticed about the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

their faults sounds more interesting to them. Teaching adolescents by using

wide

Add an article

a wide

show examples

range of examples and comparisons would be a good alternative to

punishment

On the other hand

, more explanations may lead to more intellectual activities,

thus

students who are heard more examples would have more active minds which can

analize

Correct your spelling

analyze

every fact logically. All in all, giving

wider

Add an article

a wider

show examples

range of details is highly recommended because of its' benefits. To summarise,

although

punishment

Change the article

show examples

easy tool for teaching norms to students, it has lots of disadvantages for youngsters.

In other words

, not any easy way is the best way. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

punishment

can be the worst thing for teaching and other ways like

explanation

Add an article

the explanation

an explanation

show examples

that have

mentioned

Add a missing verb

been mentioned

show examples

can be used

instead

Submitted by yasamns30 on Sun Mar 27 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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