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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.

#people #health #clubs #gyms #care #say #stairs
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Few people think going
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
health
 clubs and
gyms
 improve
health
 and some believe that walking and climbing stairs are beneficial.I personally believe that regular visit
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
health
care
 and
gyms
 increases
health
.In
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 I will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both views and give my opinion.
Firstly
, the regular visit of
gyms
 and
health
 clubs definitely benefits the
health
 of a
person
.Because by attending
continuosly
Correct your spelling
continuously
 a gym or
health
 club where a
person
 will do lots of
workout
Change to a plural noun
workouts
show examples
 and gets the diet plan.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 it paves
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a way
Correct your spelling
away
show examples
 for a healthy life.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research conducted by
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 University revealed that a
person
 who visits
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 and
health
care
 regularly has low
health
 problems.
On the contrary
 side,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 doing regular work like climbing stairs and walking
also
 helps significantly in developing
healt
Correct your spelling
health
.The reason is by walking and climbing stairs a
person
 burns more calories which keep them fit.So it is beneficial for a
person
 who has no
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
visiting
Change the verb form
to visit
show examples
gyms
 and
health
care
. In conclusion,as both methods are beneficial for a
person
 but by visiting
gyms
 and
health
care
Add a comma
,care
show examples
 a
person
 will have
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 improvement in the
health
.So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 prefer visiting
gyms
 and
health
 clubs for
health
care
Submitted by nishanthc286 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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