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Band 4.5

"A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?"

#places #world #tourism #source #income
Nowadays, a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 number of countries depend on
tourism
 as a main source of income. Currently,
tourism
, which is a popular way of spending time on holidays, is evolving fast. has many positive aspects like job creation and
development
 of the
country
.
However
 , Because of the
development
 of cities' infrastructure, the environment is being polluted, which is a drawback. One of the main advantages of
tourism
 is infrastructure
development
. The most money, which comes from the tourist industry, in general, is spent on buildings: roads, hotels, restaurants, monuments,
hospitals
Correct word choice
and hospitals
show examples
. Another benefit of
tourism
 is job creation. In many developed ,countries awe-breathing sights are placed in overcrowded places, where the number of tourists is even bigger than locals. Because of overcrowded
places
Add a comma
places,
show examples
 theY need to recruit workers for different work,
such
 as tourist guide or room cleaning.
Tourism
,
on the other hand
, brings to the
country
 pollution of the environment. The
country
 is inviting
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
thousands of tourists from the whole world, and of course, they have different views on environmental protection. Every person on vacation does not really care about the ecosystem of the
country
 in which he took a trip . Another negative consequence of
tourism
 is animals are
being become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 endangered. Rare animals are disappearing
due to
 violent poaching and keeping animals in captivity with power. In my view,
tourism
 influences the economy in the best way. Its growth gives us new working places and lets us see splendid foreign cultures
fully
Correct word choice
and fully
show examples
 new information, but we must pay for
this
 too much. The most important thing is to remember the consequences of
tourism
development
 and find the solution to the environmental problems in the short term.
Submitted by limilia248 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that you fully address the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Provide a balanced argument with clear examples and evidence to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices to link ideas within and between sentences.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words and phrases. Consider the formality of language and use academic vocabulary where appropriate.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation. Vary your sentence structures and use a range of grammatical constructions to demonstrate your language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
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