Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

According to some people fixed age of retirement for everybody irrespective of occupation ,is not justified as they think some kind of

work

poses more strain on the mental and physical health of the employee,so they should offer early retirement and pension to compensate for the extra load on health.I will elaborate

further

this

issue in the forthcoming paragraphs and I think it should be fair for police officers,military officers, teachers,typists and radio technicians. The

work

of peace officers and military services involve the time dealing with criminals and enemies remaining on the edge, contributing to a high level of adrenalin- keeping them in the mode of fight and flight which in long term leads to stress disorders,

therefore

those workers deserve short service span with early pension privilege.

Additionally

,teachers have to use their voice all the time for teaching leading to vocal cord disorders and they can not serve after certain age means ,they should get a modified job or break from the job.

Furthermore

,jobs requiring repetitive use of a particular part of the body like typists and computer workers, end up having issues like carpal tunnel syndrome with their wrist due to constant use so they deserve job rotation or premature retirement from

such

activities with pensions in hand,

Moreover

such

an offering will encourage people to pursue those kinds of professions where they have to do monotonous

work

in a challenging environment. In conclusion, I agree with the above statement insisting government and other agencies come up with that kind of perks for high-risk professions and set examples of rewarding the risk and dedication of those employees and motivating people for

such

risky but awarding jobs.

Submitted by mahesh029 on Mon Mar 28 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: -explain why you are interested in helping -Give details suitable past experience -suggest ways you might help with the event.

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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

In some countries, owning a home rather renting one is more important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative development?