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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce the crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe that there are better alternatives of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
There is an opinion that longer
punishment
Use synonyms
periode
Correct your spelling
period
 for
prisoner
Fix the agreement mistake
prisoners
show examples
 can decrease
crime
Use synonyms
 rates.
Body paragraph 1
I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because there is no evidence that it will work and there is another type of
punishment
Use synonyms
 that should
also
Linking Words
 consider.
Body paragraph 2
It is best for
this
Linking Words
 kind of conclusion to support with research, but there is no evidence to prove
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Hence
Linking Words
 there
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
posibilities
Correct your spelling
possibilities
 that
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
 feel more secure when they end up in the prison. And as long as corruption still
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happens
happen
 inside the prison, it will become
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable
show examples
 place for the
crime
Use synonyms
 to even have a new life.
Body paragraph 3
Although
Linking Words
, time is one of
another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 that can
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the
crime
Use synonyms
 rates
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
there are
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
 that should we consider. It is not a linear problem with
linear
Add an article
a linear
show examples
 equation,
punishment
Use synonyms
 and
crime
Use synonyms
 have complex
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
case
Add an article
the case
a case
show examples
 with
Correct your spelling
psychological
psylogical
Correct article usage
a psylogical
show examples
 motive should
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
 with deep
analys
Correct your spelling
analysis
analyse
 so there will be
psychological
Correct article usage
a psychological
show examples
 effect for the criminal to not repeat the same mistake.
Conclusion
To sum up, even when
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
 spend longer time
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison there can guarantee that
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate will decrease.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that, it's best to give
punishment
Use synonyms
 based on the motive so they will give suitable effect to criminal's
psycologically
Correct your spelling
psychologically
psychological
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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