IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

There are fewer controls over the design and construction of home and office building. So, people can build them however they like. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?

#controls #design #construction #home #office #people #outweigh
It is a common belief that people can build
home
Correct your spelling
homes
show examples
 and office
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
however
 they like due to there
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
fewer controls over the
design
 and construction of
its
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there is a more persuasive argument that these
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 negatively because the
safety
 standard and landscape beauty are
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
. On the one hand, people can express their personality by the
design
 of their house and how
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 was built. Families or organizations can build their own
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the way they want so that can
reduces
Change the verb form
reduce
show examples
 the cost of the building and the owner of its will save an amount of money. According to a
reccent
Correct your spelling
recent
 survey, 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
responser
Correct your spelling
response
responses
 said that they will
ignored
Change the verb form
ignore
show examples
 some
safety
rules
 in constructing a building to save cash in case the government
are impose
Change the verb form
imposes
show examples
 fewer
rules
. These
also
allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
 the development
design
Fix the infinitive
to design
show examples
 their own building in every way that they can invent.
Nevertheless
,
safety
rules
 that government
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 control strictly, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
potential
Add an article
a potential
show examples
danger
Fix the agreement mistake
dangers
show examples
 in the constructure. Some
safety
rules
 can be ignored,
makes
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 the house
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
danger
Correct article usage
a danger
show examples
 for
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 who
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
 inside.
Georong
Correct your spelling
George
Georg
 Mall in
Soeul
Correct your spelling
Seoul
, South Korea is the best example
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 circumstance,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a beautiful day
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1999, entire the mall constructure collapsed
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
 of
livings
Fix the agreement mistake
living
show examples
died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
. One of the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 tragedy is the
safety
rules
 of the building construction process are ignored by the development. To sum up, while
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
there are some advantages to control fewer over the
design
 and construction of home and office, it is evident that disadvantages of
these ignoration
Change the determiner
this ignoration
show examples
are far outweigh
Change the verb form
are far outweighed
are far outweighing
show examples
 the benefits.
Submitted by nguyenanhngocphan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: