Some people believe that violent media directly results in violent behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #media #results #behavior

Some argue that cruel content in the

media

persuades

people

to have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

violent

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

This

essay strongly agrees with

this

statement because the

media

has a strong power to persuade

people

through films and advertisements.

Besides

children

absorb

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

from what they see and hear and they simply imitate actions shown by the

media

without determining whether those are good or bad. The

media

has a strong power to influence

people

through films, advertisements, games and others.

People

’s brains are stimulated by what they watch and hear from the environment. The violent

media

directly have a bad influence by showing brutal actions using knives or guns and

this

will give a stigma to the

people

who watch those as a common

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

People

will unconsciously remember and copy

this

cruelty into their life and become having violent

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

For example

, in 2019, a man shot a hundred

people

in a mosque in New Zealand, which caused dozens of deaths, and that criminal undertook that action because he thought that he was playing a gun shooting game in real life. The other reason is

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is formed since childhood and

children

simply learn from what they see and hear regularly.

However

children

can not determine whether what they see is a good or bad action. If parents feed them

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violent

media

every day,

then

this

would directly shape them

for

Change preposition

into

show examples

having bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

For example

, bullying is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

big issue in the US and some of these cases are caused by

children

copying

this

bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

movies. In conclusion, the cruel

media

will directly affect

people

for having bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

because they have a strong power to persuade

people

to copy that actions and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Besides

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is shaped from childhood and

children

are simply copying what they see and hear, and they can not determine whether those are good or bad.

Submitted by ririsgrace on Tue Mar 29 2022

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that violent media directly results in violent behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

2.Many parents in Vietnam invest heavily into their child’s education hoping for the best.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

When employers choose the best person for a job they should consider personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?