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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

#families
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The role of the family and how they bond together is a great concern for most of us whilst some hold the view that it's important to strengthen your relationship with your parents , brothers and sisters, others hold a diverse view that one should stay away from them at a certain age so that they feel more independent . I believe that you should keep the ones that love you unconditionally close to you always. I
also
Linking Words
 think that technology among other reasons is why families lost their communication with each other .My contention will be
further
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 explained.
To begin
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 with , losing the communication and bond between parents and their
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 is due to the tremendous effort done in work . Fathers and mothers work so hard to provide for their
kids
Use synonyms
. Not only
does
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do
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 they exert a lot of effort but
also
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 , they spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work . leaving the
kids
Use synonyms
 alone most of the day makes the communication and love between them fade with
time
Use synonyms
 .
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 technology is one of the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 issue .
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
 tend to escape the real world while playing video games and using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media.
Moreover
Linking Words
, members of the family should be closer by doing activities together . What can be said is routine must be done to save the connection between the family . Despite the fact that the job takes up all the
time
Use synonyms
 , providers should gather with their
Use synonyms
kids
Change to a genitive case
kid's
kids'
show examples
al
Correct your spelling
at
show examples
 least once
everyday
Correct your spelling
every day
show examples
 eating together . A prime example is the weekend
time
Use synonyms
 , you can go together to the zoo , museum or even to a small park. In conclusion , It can be reiterated that life is hard without someone who cares about you . Sometimes you need the support and love of
the
Change the word
your
show examples
 close ones . Technology and life needs
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 kept us apart and we need to keep the bond between each other to survive .
Submitted by Abeer.lalhmd49 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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