IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities sholud encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #focus #people #universities #sholud #range #subjects
It is believed that some of these people who are students at university concentrate on one specific subject
while
 others consider that, university education should be taught another variety of subjects for useful purposes. Personally, I firmly agree with the second thesis,
although
 admission is interested in the exact subject it would be appropriate for some of them.
To begin
 with the first step, from my
perspective
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perspective,
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 a majority of the country's universities are available to learn one specific skill that admission wants to focus on knowledge. The fact that
,
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apply
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 some sort of the subjects at university
related
Add a missing verb
are related
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 to special interests
such
 as economics, history, linguistics, biology, chemistry and so on.
As a result
, if enrollment concentrates on their specific goals, it will assist
to accomplish
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in accomplishing
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progress rapidly.
Consequently
, the recruitment would be glad of the educationalists.
On the other hand
, attempting to the first point, some kinds of individuals are willing to make a decision differently in order to get promotion admission. The first and foremost reason is that learning new different skills and
as well as
 language for except their specialized subjects. On top of that, it significantly depends on students' interests in some values of knowledge.
Therefore
, educationalists should become an optional program for universities.
To sum up
, my personal preference is that, in spite of learning new skills, a student feels like providing them with specific goals and skills.
Thus
,
therefore
 enlistment will be able to learn how to perform better than others do.
Therefore
 enlisting is more likely to receive a lot of attention for their position.
Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on

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Task Response
The essay lacks a clear stance on the given topic. It is important to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Additionally, the response does not provide enough comprehensive ideas to address the topic effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure and the link between ideas is often unclear. There is a need for better organization of ideas and improved coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
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