Some people think that having a set retirement age for everybody regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive pension at an early age. Do you agree or disagree?
Generally speaking,
Correct your spelling
retirement
retrirement
Correct article usage
the retrirement
age
is 65 years old in this
day and age
. Regarding this
, some people
assert that it is not fair to set the same age
for retirement as some jobs are more dangerous than others. I strongly believe that some specific employees who work in certain dangerous industries should retire earlier and be recieved
Correct your spelling
received
pension
earlier than Correct article usage
a pension
other
Change preposition
in other
occupation
.
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
Firstly
, it is generally acknowledged that hospitals has
a harmful atmosphere since there are a lot of viruses and bacteria. When Change the verb form
have
people
get Add an article
the order
an order
order
, their body is increasingly weak, thereby leading to Correct your spelling
older
weak
immune system. Correct article usage
a weak
Therefore
, old workers who work at a hospital have more chances to get illnesses such
as AIDs and tuberculosis. Moreover
, because healthcare workers have to move patients' bodies in order to prevent bed sores
, aged Correct your spelling
bedsores
worker
tend to easily get hurt. Fix the agreement mistake
workers
For example
, recent media in Korea has revealed that almost 30% of healthcare individuals have pain on
their back and wrist as they have to deal with heavy patients. As the example clearly Change preposition
in
illustates
, healthcare workers Correct your spelling
illustrates
such
as nurses and Correct your spelling
caregivers
care givers
should retire at an early Correct your spelling
caregivers
age
not to be hurt.
Next
, some certain occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
such
as police officers, the army, and security guards which protect citizens need physical strenghth
because they sometimes have to stop violent criminals. After Correct your spelling
strength
people
become older, their muscle
and power are reduced. Fix the agreement mistake
muscles
Hence
, not only can they not be able to protect others, but they may also
fail to save themselves. For instance
, a survey conducted by the Korea Labor Foundation has revelaed
that the majority of employers are afraid to hire old guards since their Correct your spelling
revealed
body
are not reliable to protect inhabitants. Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
Hence
, it is reasonable to point out that armforce
should take a rest earlier than other jobs for safety.
In conclusion, some Correct your spelling
arm force
are force
people
who work in a harmful environment and protect others should retire earlier than other jobs as their bodies are not perfect to
coping with Change preposition
for
such
environment
.Correct article usage
an environment
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