Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Nowadays, we can not avoid
advertisements
on our normal days. Everywhere
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
promoted commercial ad. whether on social media on the train or
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
bus.
This
is very simple to receive information from
advertisements
. But I quite agree with
advertisements
indicating
about
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that
show examples
new
products
may develop us.
First,
someone believes that
advertisements
persuade people to buy new things but
actually
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actually,
show examples
if you still do not need that
staff
Correct your spelling
stuff
show examples
why do you have to spend time with that advertisement, it is easier to ignore.
For example
, if Facebook shows some commercial goods
such
as mobile phones and you read their
contents
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content
show examples
, it means you
have
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apply
show examples
already want the new one that
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
they know about your demand,
then
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
feeds you
this
information
Second,
in
this
modern world, the product companies have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various competitors. That means they will find out the most needest from their clients and they will launch better
model
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models
show examples
than other companies Consumers have a free will to choose any
products
. The duty of
advertisements
is just
reach
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to reach
show examples
the data to what customers want.
Also
,
this
will
be developing
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develop
show examples
our lives by receiving great information about the new
products
that may affect our life to better than previous. In conclusion, no matter how many
advertisements
do
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apply
show examples
you see
this
is depending
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
on our individual needs whether the
products
are necessary or a waste of money. We decide ourselves on Facebook ads,
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
ads and billboard ads they just predict your demand and give the best message that they can.
Submitted by phuchanate on

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general
The essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant examples to support the viewpoint. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed, and the structure of the essay could be more coherent and cohesive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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