In many countries, sports and exercise classes are replaced with the academic subjects. What is your opinion? What are the effects on the children in their lives?

Nowadays,many institutes are giving more preference to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic subjects in place of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
and exercise
classes
. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
can go in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
wrong way. The statement has more negative effects
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
a positive ones
Correct the article-noun agreement
positive ones
a positive one
show examples
. These effects are discussed in the following essay.
First
of all,if all the students concentrate only on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic subjects and don't pay attention to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
and their physical exercise,
then
it can be bad for their health. It is bad for their physical as well as
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
mental health.
For example
,it can
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the growth of a child,can dumb a mind
etctera
Correct your spelling
etcetera
.
In addition
to
this
,all students are not always good in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
studies,but they can give their best in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
and some,
likes
Replace the word
like
show examples
the exercises and physical
sports
classes
. By avoiding these
classes
,
creativity
Correct article usage
the creativity
show examples
and talent of a student can go waste.
Furthermore
,if he/she not doing good in his/her studies and a hurdle of replacing their
sports
classes
into academic
classes
can
also
spoil their future or
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
. In the end,all fingers of a hand are not equal. Some can do good in one field and
another
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
can give their best in another direction. So
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
replacing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
and exercise
classes
with academic subjects can not be good for some individuals. It can be proved bad for
somes
Correct your spelling
some
.
Submitted by mangalpreet35 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • Healthy growth and development
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Mental health
  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Social skills
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Communication
  • Academic performance
  • Concentration
  • Memory
  • Cognitive functions
  • Lifelong habits
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Holistic development
  • Talent development
  • Athletics
What to do next:
Look at other essays: