IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Write about the following topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #country #health #service #treatments
Medical
services
, without cost,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very hard to be distributed to every
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
show examples
 which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very costly. I strongly disagree with those free
services
 provided by
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
, as its complete wastage of the country's economy in
Correct your spelling
irrelevant
irrelevent
Change the article
an irrelevent
show examples
 way. People often are suffering from a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 new diseases which are expensive to get treated. The authority if provides all facilities without payments,
then
 it might result to
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 impact as
Add an article
the patient
a patient
show examples
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 may take that care for granted and there is
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 chance of being
misuse
Add an article
a misuse
the misuse
show examples
 of medicines and goods. For which
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 if some amounts are allocated for
treatment
Add an article
a treatment
show examples
 procedure, those will have proper follow-up and it results to
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 outcome as well as collecting revenue from the locals, ultimately
ading
Correct your spelling
adding
 help for sustainable growth in finance and health sector.
For example
, village health post
services
 are very less or of no cost which makes community people not to visit there because they think it's not providing good
services
 and medicines are outdated which is not true
infact
Correct your spelling
in fact
.
Similarly
Add a comma
,Similarly
show examples
 if some amount is charged they believe that organization provides good service which resultantly leads to
Correct article usage
a getter
show examples
getter
Correct your spelling
better
show examples
 allowance to run that service
further
Correct your spelling
furthermore
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, if some payments are required for getting treatment
then
 it will help in
Correct your spelling
long run
longrun
Correct article usage
the longrun
show examples
 for its
continual
Replace the word
continued
show examples
 health
services
.
Submitted by sht.teclab on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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