IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Write about the following topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #country #health #service #treatments
I agree that every
country
 should have a free
health
service
. Free
health
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should
inlucde
Correct your spelling
include
 basic treatments. As we know developing
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 have adequate hospitals, where
people
 from different
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the
country
 have to rely on
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 and have to travel
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 way for that. If every
country
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 basic free
health
 services
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 each
villages
Change to a singular noun
village
show examples
 or ward, where they can get
facilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
 like consult doctors or
alteast
Correct your spelling
latest
health
service
 workers to know about their
helath
Correct your spelling
health
 conditions only it will really be helpful. As per my
experience
Add a comma
,experience
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have seen in my
country
, where big hospitals have
Correct your spelling
latest
latested
Correct article usage
the latested
show examples
 medical devices but lack of experienced doctors who can make
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good use out of it have failed in making good use of the devices.
Where
Correct your spelling
Whereas
show examples
as in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
villages
people
 are deprived of basic
health
 services,
this
 has resulted in
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 serious
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 with one's life. If
people
 with
simple
Add an article
the simple
show examples
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
 can be diagnosed at
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
 stage with help of
doctor
Correct article usage
a doctor
show examples
 consultation only,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 it doesn't require for latest means of medical treatment, but if these simple
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
 of
people
 are not able to get
health
 services at their level it might get worse. So as prevention is better than cure
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if every
country
 can provide a free
health
service
 it can save
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of life and
also
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 cost and expenses of
Add an article
the patient
a patient
show examples
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
 when timely diagnosed.
Submitted by sht.teclab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: