IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Write about the following topic: Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #country #health #service #treatments
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I agree that every
country
 should have a free
health
 service. Free
health
services
 should include basic treatments. As we know developing countries
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 have adequate hospitals, where
people
 from different parts of the
country
 have to rely on the city and have to travel a long way for that. If every
country
 has at least basic free
health
services
 for each village or ward, where they can get facilities like consult doctors or latest
health
 service workers to know about their
health
 conditions only it will really be helpful. As per my ,experience I have seen in my
country
, where big hospitals have the
latested
Correct your spelling
latest
 medical devices but lack of experienced doctors who can make good use out of it have failed in making good use of the devices. Whereas villages
people
 are deprived of basic
health
services
,
this
 has resulted in
a very serious issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
very serious issues
a very serious issue
show examples
 with one's life. If
people
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
simple illnesses can be diagnosed at an early stage with help of a doctor consultation only,
then
 it doesn't require for latest means of medical treatment, but if these simple illnesses of
people
 are not able to get
health
services
 at their level it might get worse. So as prevention is better than cure if every
country
 can provide a free
health
 service it can save a lot of life and
also
 the cost and expenses of patients when timely diagnosed.
Submitted by sht.teclab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: