The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future

Global

healthcare

has been improved significantly in the

last

century.

However

, some believe that the average health of individuals is going to reduce in the future. To my way of thinking,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthcare

is actually going to improve and fewer people will get sick.

The

Correct article usage

Healthcare

show examples

healthcare

is going to improve, Because, rapid technological advancements and new scientific discoveries will introduce higher quality

healthcare

and more significant, make it widespread

that

Correct word choice

so that

show examples

everyone could benefit from it.

In addition

, New achievements in personalized medicine and precise prescriptions will be reducing adverse drug

Replace the word

effects

show examples

affects

Correct your spelling

effects

show examples

which are responsible for

inconvenience

Add an article

the inconvenience

show examples

of patients or even deaths.

On the other hand

, there will be

less disease

Fix the agreement mistake

fewer diseases

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

50 years from now. The reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

is mostly because of social distance which has been

became

Change the verb form

becoming

become

show examples

a new habit recently. Though, less face to face

contacts

Fix the agreement mistake

contact

show examples

means less transition of diseases

between

Change preposition

among

show examples

humans.

For example

for Covid-19, social distancing helped a bunch to control the pandemic.

On the contrary

although

many people have bad diet routines and eat unhealthy food

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

But

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

, the number of those who care about their food intake is gradually increasing.

For instance

, these days people can buy special food provided for

small

Add an article

the small

show examples

dietary

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

, like vegetarians, in every

Correct your spelling

supermarket

show examples

super market

Correct your spelling

supermarket

show examples

. In summary,

There

Fix capitalization

there

show examples

will be more precise

healthcare

along with

fewer

Add an article

a fewer

the fewer

show examples

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

diseases in the future. my short term view on

healthcare

is that it

depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

on how fast the science advances. Though, I hope to see

such

improvements any time sooner.

Submitted by amirreza.alise on Sat Apr 02 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
The most important aim of science ought to be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that the main goal of science is making people’s lives better and easier. I strongly agree with this statement, because science has led to significant achievements in medicine and has made great technological advancements in world history.
4
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Other, however, say that this would have limit effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Public health is one of major concern that a country should be aware. Society believe that rising the development of sport facilities consider as one method to make a better public health. Meanwhile, some individuals argue that idea was not fully effective and should be supported by some method. In this essay, i will discuss my prespective about those ideas and give some opinion.
5.5
band
At the present time, many people prefer to conversation with each other by using social networks and phone to call them because of this traditional aspects of communication are becoming smaller today. Majority of individuals imagine that this is reducing people's ability to interface correctly when they are meeting in person in real life. From my point of view, I agree that people need to associate in real life without internet.
At the present time, many people prefer to conversation with each other by using social networks and phone to call them because of this traditional aspects of communication are becoming smaller today. Majority of individuals imagine that this is reducing people's ability to interface correctly when they are meeting in person in real life. From my point of view, I agree that people need to associate in real life without internet.
6
band
Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?
Recently artificial intelligent people are increasingly replacing humans in jobs. While it is possible that all menial jobs will be overtaken by robots, it is unlikely the sectors that require human contact will be done. This essay will discuss why eventually only very few jobs will be carried out by people.
7.5
band
Some people say that web content should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is a common belief that online content is not helpful in an educational setting. However, a more persuasive argument suggests that it can be utilized to guide children because doing so can facilitate flexible learning environments.

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

The most important aim of science ought to be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Other, however, say that this would have limit effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. What is your opinion?

Some people say that web content should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.