IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Damage to the environment is an inevitable consequence of the improvement in the standard of living. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Many people claim that we unavoidably lead to environmental issues if we develop living quality. I totally agree with
this
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 opinion.
Firstly
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, the process that we improved our living standard has proved
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the point. People’s history of living development is to chase a convenient living way and it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 many issues.
For instance
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, the invention of the plane satisfies
Correct article usage
the human’s
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human’s
Change noun form
human
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 dream
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
travel
Verb problem
travelling
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 to other countries in an extremely short time, but it has to utilize petrol and inevitably exhausts much poisonous fume.
Moreover
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, those
gas
Fix the agreement mistake
gases
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 can cause many environmental problems
such
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 as global warming and acid rain. If we want to solve the problem, we have to sacrifice the convenience
which
Correct word choice
that
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 modern tools provide us.
Secondly
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, there are some reasons we are still made to exploit nature. In the aspects of clean-energy technology, it is hardly used widely because it is not a mature skill now and individuals have to pay highly for the expensive cost of its development.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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solar electric cars,
although
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 they have been sold in many countries, the higher
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 than the same type, but petrol energy
auto
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autos
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, make them hard to sell.
Instead
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 of the difficulty of popularizing clean energy, we have not found an appropriate substitution for animal tests. Scientists have to kill animals for medicines that can save many people’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In conclusion, if we want to improve our life qualities, we have to damage the environment. I hope we can develop technologies that can care about both the standard of living and the environment.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on the issue and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments and strengthen your position.
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