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Band 4

Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

#success #terms #money #somebody #wealth #measure
There are
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
various perspectives in
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to
success
, and that includes
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
 in profession, health, and relationships.
However
, in general,
people
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
 to believe that the basis of
success
 is on the financial aspects of the individual. Today, I will argue on whether
this
 mindset is a good identification of
success
,
as well as
 adding some other
far significant
Add a hyphen
far-significant
show examples
 forms of
this
. Wealth is one way to identify a
person
's
success
,
however
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
looking at
people
's winning in life should
not
Add a missing verb
be not
show examples
 only about the money aspect, but individuality as well. If rich
people
 don't have compassion
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
others
, especially
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 those
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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 with low economic status
then
 they are arrogant with no contribution to humanity's moral
success
. A wealthy
person
 is a successful
person
 when he
achieved
Wrong verb form
achieves
show examples
 the basis of goodness in life, and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 an inspiration to
others
. My stand in measuring successfulness is to know
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
 capability to be humane, regardless of acquiring matters that are needed to live comfortably,
for instance
, affording branded clothes, new model cars and the
likes
Fix the agreement mistake
like
show examples
. I acknowledge victory when the
person
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hustle
Correct subject-verb agreement
hustles
show examples
 to aim
it
Change preposition
for it
show examples
while
 valuing the relationship he or she has with
others
. In conclusion, optimum
success
 is something that we should not just verify through looks and materials. We should
also
 try to investigate
people
's level of
success
 by assessing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 character and how inspirational they are to our generation.
Afterall
Correct your spelling
After all
show examples
,
Correct article usage
an individuals
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
success
 should attract
others
 through kindness and compassion, to convert thriving to living. Everybody
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their hardest times, and they get through
this
 whenever they look up
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 successful
people
 who can be a good example for them to go on in life.
Submitted by esternonwena123 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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