IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory partofhigh school programmes To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #partofhigh #school #programmes
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Some individuals argue that unpaid community service should be mandatory in high
school
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 programmes. In my opinion,
that is
Linking Words
 a mistake because high
school
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 students could take more advantage of their
time
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 by learning new things. It is certainly true that people can benefit from doing charitable
work
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,
however
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, teenagers are
in
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apply
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a crucial part of their academic life. They need to prepare for tertiary education and college degrees are getting harder every year.
Therefore
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 the
time
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 should be better spent learning the skills they are going to need in the future.
For example
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, the tests to be admitted
in
Change preposition
to
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 some university courses
such
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 as medicine are getting more difficult because a wider range of knowledge is required to pass them.
This
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 means that more
time
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 must be spent studying subjects
such
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 as biology even though the amount of
time
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 teenagers spend in middle education has not changed. Another problem with
this
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 idea is that if it is implemented, students would
work
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 only because they need to do it and not because they want to help people.
This
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 could make them think that all charitable
work
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 is done only by people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are forced to do it. The empathy and altruism that are a fundamental part of helping others would be lost. An example of why
this
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 can be problematic is that it is known that the most efficient charitable organizations are those with the highest proportion of voluntary
work
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.
To conclude
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, because high
school
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 students need to focus on obtaining the skills and knowledge they are going to need after
school
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 and because the key elements of charitable
work
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 are gone when it becomes compulsory, I opine that the disadvantages of
this
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 idea outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by ignaciogigli on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a well-structured response to the question, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive set of ideas, and you have supported your points effectively with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • civic engagement
  • empathy
  • intrinsic motivation
  • volunteerism
  • compulsory
  • divert
  • instill
  • practical life skills
  • sense of responsibility
  • community service
  • active members
  • diverse communities
  • future careers
  • work experience
  • personal freedom
  • punishment
  • learning experience
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