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Band 4

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#computer #effects #children
At the present time,
computer
 usage has been expanded dramatically among different age groups. In my opinion,
in
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at
show examples
 younger
ages
, daily
computer
 usage
have
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has
show examples
 detrimental effects on one's physical and mental
growth
, while significantly
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 their ability to learn crucial soft skills.
Although
 learning modern technologies could be advantageous for youth's future, its drawbacks at early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 outweigh its merits. Physical activity has
countless
Add an article
a countless
show examples
 positive
role
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roles
show examples
 in young
children
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children's
show examples
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
, which can decline dramatically when they start to deal with
computers
. Physical games and activities not only help their body to improve powerful mussels and bones but
also
 increase the production and release of
growth
 hormones. According to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
conducted
in
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at
show examples
 Toronto University,
density
Correct article usage
the density
show examples
 of
growth
 enzymes was reduced
20
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by 20
show examples
% in
children
 who used
computers
 under the age of nine, which
consequently
 reduced the average of their height.
Children
Change noun form
Children's
show examples
 activity
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 plays a key role in learning
softskills
Correct your spelling
soft skills
soft-skills
.
Children
 learn socializing through making friends, games, and peer-to-peer interactions.
computer
 usage
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 can decline these interactions due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 attraction of
computers
. In fact, personal
computers
 are capable to addict them
by
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with
show examples
 colourful games and cartoons, while lowering their interaction with
surrounded
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the surrounded
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 world.
As a result
, their
intelligence
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intellectual
show examples
growth
 and creativity will vanish sooner or later by more tendency to the
computer
 world. In conclusion, I believe, preventing young
children
 to use
computers
 is a most
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 remarkably beneficial for their spiritual and physical improvement.
Submitted by fateme.niknam on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
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