Completing university education is the thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

#university #education #thought #job #hand #people #skills

It is often argued that tertiary

education

is the most preferred way to attain better employment, whilst others

disgree

Correct your spelling

disagree

and believe that having

experience

and softs

Correct your spelling

skills

show examples

kills

Correct your spelling

skills

show examples

is more beneficial.

This

essay discusses both

perspective

Change to a plural noun

perspectives

show examples

and why I believe that

university

education

imparts in-depth knowledge which plays a pivotal role in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

future career. On the one hand, there are people who believe that

experience

and developing soft skills prove more advantageous in getting better

jobs

This

is because it is highly competitive to get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jobs

these days. Most companies prefer candidates with

wide

Add an article

a wide

show examples

range of

experience

and skills.

As a result

, they spend

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

resources on teaching fresh employees and it leads to enhance their

productivty

Correct your spelling

productivity

at work.

For instance

, In India, the primary requirement of multinational companies in the IT sector is those candidates who have

minimum

Add an article

a minimum

show examples

of five years

work

Change preposition

of work

show examples

experience

Therefore

, in order to get

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better

jobs

students should possess qualities like teamwork, positive work

ethics

Fix the agreement mistake

ethic

show examples

and time management skills,

in addition

experience

However

, I agree with those who believe that completing

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

education

plays a crucial role in obtaining better employment. It is certainly important to have tertiary

education

because it provides in-depth knowledge of

subject

Add an article

the subject

show examples

which makes the students stand out among the crowd. To illustrate

this

, a study concluded that students who have completed tertiary

education

, have

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

probability of landing

up with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

good

jobs

comparsion

Correct your spelling

comparison

to those who have only

experience

Correct your spelling

experienced

show examples

and no degrees.

Thus

, having

university

degrees completed enhances the chances of getting better employment. In conclusion,

although

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

possessing

experience

and traits like creative thinking and leadership can be helpful in securing better

jobs

. I firmly believe that

university

degrees have

upper

Correct article usage

the upper

show examples

hand in obtaining good

jobs

This

because

Add a missing verb

is because

show examples

it enriches the knowledge which is beneficial in

future

Add an article

a future

the future

show examples

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

Submitted by drvishal13 on Sun Apr 03 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Completing university education is the thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, transport and dirty water. Do you think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights or accommodation to restrict today’s tourism industry?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

You are about to move to an English-speaking country to study. You have a friend living there and you want to find a part-time job. Write a letter to your friend - Explaining your scholar plans, - Your reasons to get a part-time job, - Suggest how he/she can help you finding a job.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?