Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time ,and have health problems as a result . Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health

It seems that

Change the article

the

show examples

huge number of employees work out a little or not at all during working hours or their leisure

time

so it causes kinds of health problems .In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

we will discuss the reasons .

Furthermore

, some solutions will be suggested. To start with,the main reason for

this

issue is lack of

time

.A lot of

reicrutees

Correct your spelling

recruiters

claim during the working day don't have sufficient

time

to work out.What's more, usually there's no access to appropriate facilities and places

such

as gym or clubs at

workplace

Add an article

the workplace

show examples

However

, being lazy sometimes can be considered as one of the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

concern. To deal with the problem, employers can provide suitable places near the workplace to assist their workers to refresh and do their tasks

bette

Correct your spelling

better

Additionally

,some special

time

during the day should be devoted .To motivate workers,definite types of bonuses like having the chance of taking days off or free trips would be a supportive idea . To sum up , having

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

and energetic workforce and family is one of the major factors

Change preposition

show examples

raise work

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

and

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

.As a

results

Correct the article-noun agreement

result

show examples

, having sufficient

time

also

enuogh

Correct your spelling

enough

motivation to exercise can promote

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

health

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

Submitted by TUTOO on Mon Apr 04 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

195 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Time constraints
Sedentary lifestyle
Passive leisure activities
Workplace wellness programs
Active commuting
Subsidized
Public awareness
Health benefits
Incentivizing
Accessible public spaces

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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time ,and have health problems as a result . Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is a bar chart showing the ratio of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Some people believe that there should be the death penalty for extremely serious crimes. Others believe that it is not morally correct to kill criminals Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produce locally. Why? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages to being self-employed? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they shoud be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at aschool. To what extend do you agree or disagree?