IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that it is best to be loyal and to work for one company during one’s life. Others take the opposite view and say it is better to change jobs frequently in one’s life. Discuss these positions, using specific examples of both. Then tell which one you agree with and explain why?

#people #work #company #one’s #life #change #jobs #positions
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It is often said by certain individuals that working for a single firm for the whole life is extremely beneficial while another side of society
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that having multiple
change
Change to a plural noun
changes
show examples
 in employment is more advantageous. While there are certain merits of the
first
Linking Words
 view, I would argue that
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
 is more significant. The
pro of
Correct your spelling
proof
show examples
 being loyal to a single
company
Use synonyms
 for a complete
lifetime
Replace the word
life
show examples
 is that one will become a valuable asset to the
company
Use synonyms
 because of one's vast experience in the same field which is a boon to any employee during any uncertain circumstances. Since if any market crash happens anytime, people with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 amount of experience within the same
company
Use synonyms
 would not get fired conveniently, whereas others who change their jobs frequently get laid-off mostly.
For example
Linking Words
, as per a study conducted by the department of education in the USA, during the recession of 2008, 70% of the people who have not been working in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 same place for
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 10
years
Use synonyms
 got fired.
However
Linking Words
, changing a new job
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every couple of
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 is excellent for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
career growth in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial income.
This
Linking Words
 is because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new employer easily gives
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 40% raise to the new employee;
on the contrary
Linking Words
, as per the market
standards
Add a comma
,standards
show examples
 maximum 20% increment in salary has been given
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the workers of the same
company
Use synonyms
.
For Instance
Linking Words
, as per a
suvery
Correct your spelling
survey
 in -'The Times'- every 7 out of 10 people who changes
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 4
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
 in their
first
Linking Words
 10
years
Use synonyms
 of experience have more chances of becoming a millionaire rather than others who do not.
Therefore
Linking Words
, one can secure their future without any worries, if they earn more money. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 having employment in a single
company
Use synonyms
 for whole life has certain pros, I believe that switching jobs after every 3
years
Use synonyms
 or 4
years
Use synonyms
 is more essential due to the high increment in salary.
Submitted by dsbsoni on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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