Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person

Usually, accomplishment is based on money and material things.

Success

and personal achievements are linked to

wealth

and I believe that each person has their own meaning of

success

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

on that

basis

Add a comma

,basis

show examples

wealth

could not be taken as a reference to measure personal achievements or goals.

First

of all, as far as I am concerned, school scores were the

first

goal that we must

achieved

Change the verb form

achieve

show examples

. Since we are children, we learnt the importance of education, not only for the instructive scope

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Change preposition

show examples

the way to drive through a successful career. School make us competitive, and society reinforces

this

feeling,

Correct word choice

that we

show examples

should be better than our friends. There is a recent study that reveals the major part of university students have chosen their careers based on their future incomes and economic achievement,

hence

to them,

wealth

is a synonym for

success

For instance

, in

Spain

Add a comma

,Spain

show examples

there is a big percentage who prefer to study Business

instead

of Science.

Secondly

, social media plays an important role in the meaning that we have of

success

. Usually, social networks have accounts

which

Correct pronoun usage

whose

show examples

content is based on luxury life and how to achieve it through hard work. Material and expensive belongings are shown as examples of

success

For example

, Instagram is filled

Change the preposition

with

show examples

these kinds of accounts and its followers are totally convinced that

success

is related to

this

. Personal

success

is independent and different

Change preposition

for

show examples

each person. I believe that what makes a successful person is always based on their own goals and of course, to me,

wealth

is not the best way to measure

success

in life. To me,

success

is set with family, job career and friends.

Submitted by melisa.siverio on Tue Apr 05 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.