IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #habits #age #group #factors
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As
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With
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 the
evulotion
Correct your spelling
evolution
 of commercialization, the
habits
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 of shopping have significantly changed from past to present.When it comes to the issues
about
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of
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 what
factors
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 mainly affect human shopping
habits
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,someone argues that age principally
determine
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determines
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perchasing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
habits
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. Personally,
i
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I
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agree
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onagree
toagree
withagree
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 both
opinion
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opinions
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. in the
frst
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first
 place.admittedly.aae is one of the essential
element
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elements
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 to influence individual
habits
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 in buying products.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the young aged people are normally willing to use
convinient
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convenient
 online shopping website or application to purchase commodities whereas the elder merely
insist
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insists
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to
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on
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 traditional outline shopping like buying goods in supermarket or downtown street.
Moreover
Linking Words
, younger people are keen to
accpet
Correct your spelling
accept
 more fashionable good,
for instance
Linking Words
 in terms of shoes they will cost higher price to buy a pair of AJ
sneekers
Correct your spelling
sneakers
,but for old
people
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,people
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 they much value shoes'
factors
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 of cost-effective and comfortable.
Addtionally
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Additionally
, a brunch of other vital
factors
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such
Linking Words
 as culture and gender
egually
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equally
equality
 influence trade.Various
culture
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cultures
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 in the world
have
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has
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 raised
a
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the
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 phenomenon that different cultural
groug
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groups
 possess diverse shopping
habits
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.Specifically,
Chinese
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the Chinese
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 habituate to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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 red clothes to celebrate spring festival and
American
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Americans
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 are accustomed to
purchase
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purchasing
show examples
 turkey when approaching
to
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apply
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Christmas.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,in terms of gender,
male
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males
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are
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is
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 more likely to be oriented by the results of goods purchased,
nevertheless
Linking Words
female
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females
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 attach more importance to the process of shopping with friends. To sum up,
i
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I
show examples
 acknowledge that age group exactly determine human shopping
habits
Use synonyms
 to some extent and
Linking Words
likewise
Add a comma
,likewise
show examples
 some other
factors
Use synonyms
 change purchasing customs.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption patterns
  • digital natives
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar stores
  • target demographic
  • disposable income
  • consumer behavior
  • market segmentation
  • purchasing power
  • retail therapy
  • brand loyalty
  • impulse buying
  • price-sensitive
  • cross-generational
What to do next:
Look at other essays: