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Writing Samples
Band 5

People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #habits #age #group #factors
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Although
Linking Words
 the video game industry is developing rapidly and more and more people enjoy the fun it brings, some people begin to claim that it has a smaller range of skills than traditional game development. I don'
t
Use synonyms
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because it sounds like another story that the laggard is frightened by new things.
First
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 of all, let's see what is the most likely reason for their statement. Traditional
games
Use synonyms
 need more physical participation, so they need more physical exercise, while modern
games
Use synonyms
 don'
t
Use synonyms
, but is
this
Linking Words
 true? With the latest technology and equipment, modern
games
Use synonyms
 can be played in a small room in virtual reality.
Children
Use synonyms
 can wave badminton sticks or even swords anywhere and feel it, rather than just seeing it on the screen with sensors. In
this
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 way, you don'
t
Use synonyms
 have to worry about the physical decline of
children
Use synonyms
 sitting all day. But modern
games
Use synonyms
 can bring more benefits by taking advantage of
children
Use synonyms
's skills.
Although
Linking Words
 traditional
games
Use synonyms
 usually consist of an amusement park, a ball or something else, a certain number of people and rules, modern
games
Use synonyms
 use these elements in various forms with the help of scientific and technological innovation and other professions.
Children
Use synonyms
 who play modern
games
Use synonyms
 are immersed in vivid artistic animation, thoughtful interactive design, storytelling plots, strategies to cooperate with other players, and other ways. If they don'
t
Use synonyms
 learn skills during the game, how can they turn a blind eye and turn a deaf ear to all
this
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.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In a word, I think those who shout, criticize and complain that
children
Use synonyms
 lack the benefit of modern
games
Use synonyms
 are just
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
imagination,
that is
Linking Words
, the imagination of the future and technological development.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption patterns
  • digital natives
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar stores
  • target demographic
  • disposable income
  • consumer behavior
  • market segmentation
  • purchasing power
  • retail therapy
  • brand loyalty
  • impulse buying
  • price-sensitive
  • cross-generational
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