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Band 5.5

«Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.»

#«some #people #governments #money #sports #facilities #athletes
With the development of
sports
, there is
also
 a need for
sports
 facilities, and more and more
people
 are involved in
sports
. About what the government should allocate money for, for the equipment of
athletes
 or for ordinary
people
, there are still disputes and discussions. In my opinion,
first
Add a comma
,first
show examples
 the government should allocate money for the best
athletes
. Since they bring fame, fame by winning at important competitions or at the Olympic Games. In order to bring
this
 glory to your state and receive medals, they must,
first
 of all, be provided with new and high-quality equipment and good conditions. All
this
 rests on the shoulders of the state.
For example
,
athletes
 who take pride
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
place
Correct pronoun usage
their place
show examples
 in competitions, holding the national flag high, give motivation, strength and energy to ordinary
people
.‌‌ Based on
this
, there is
also
 the other side of the coin, money from the state budget should
also
 be allocated for the development of
sports
 for ordinary
people
. I believe that ordinary
people
 have the right to engage in and be involved in various
sports
. If you create opportunities for the local population to engage in various
sports
,
then
 they will have even more respect and understanding of
athletes
, young
people
 will be motivated and in the
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 there is a great chance that they will become better
athletes
.‌‌
For example
,
athletes
 who take pride
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
place
Correct pronoun usage
their place
show examples
 in competitions, holding the national flag high, give motivation, strength and energy to ordinary
people
.‌‌ In conclusion, in my opinion, both ordinary
people
 and
athletes
 need opportunities. Since all the best
athletes
 on the world stage come from the common
people
‌‌
Submitted by khushnudrustamovich on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • elite sports facilities
  • national pride
  • international events
  • participation
  • high-quality
  • performance
  • national representation
  • fairness
  • social issues
  • population health
  • well-being
  • accessible
  • inclusive
  • community involvement
  • sponsorship
  • endorsements
  • recreational facilities
  • inspire
  • younger generations
  • serious pursuit
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