IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestion on the roads. What are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest.

#cities #people #waste #hours #time #traffic #congestion #roads
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the growing population in contemporary cities,
traffic
Use synonyms
 is one of the major problems in today's world. Almost all
people
Use synonyms
 are stuck in
traffic
Use synonyms
 and waste time on the roads during their daily habits. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 congestion and
then
Linking Words
 describe the possible solutions to the
problem
Use synonyms
. It is obvious that most
people
Use synonyms
 spend their time on the roads because of daily obligations. One common cause is growing populations in an unconscious way. Modern cities tend to face migrations and ,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems occur. The other cause is the absence of sufficient common transportation vehicles.
For example
Linking Words
, during rush hours
people
Use synonyms
 don't want to use
populous
Correct word choice
public
show examples
 vehicles
due to
Linking Words
 the epidemic illnesses. I think that the
problem
Use synonyms
 of
traffic
Use synonyms
 results in
people
Use synonyms
's mental health.
Thus
Linking Words
, it should be solved on both individual and governmental levels. I can suggest two possible solutions to
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, with technological
developments
Add a comma
developments,
show examples
 some activities don't require face-to-face communication and they can be done by computers.
For instance
Linking Words
, shopping websites help us to order something and
people
Use synonyms
 don't have to
be wasting
Wrong verb form
waste
show examples
 their hours on the roads. The second solution is preferring public transportation
while
Linking Words
 going somewhere
such
Linking Words
 as school or work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will reduce the number of cars in certain time periods
then
Linking Words
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of private cars
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to be constricted.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that mainly overpopulation and lack of public transport increase the
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam but
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 can be solved by using online websites for needs and decreasing the use of private cars.
Submitted by tugceaksu1008 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear overview of the main points that will be discussed in the essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a final thought or recommendation.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task and provide a clear position throughout the essay. Use specific examples and details to support ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: