IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle
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I tend to think it depends on the circumstances.
People
Use synonyms
 who have enough
money
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 would prefer to use
Use synonyms
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 to afford their
health
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. These groups of
people
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 usually lack
of
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apply
show examples
time
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 as they have to work almost half-day
in
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of
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 their everyday routine.
Then
Linking Words
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of the
time
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spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
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 on housework. So, they need to
paid
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pay
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 their
money
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 for their
health
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 and wellness.
Moreover
Linking Words
, millionaires actually have enough
money
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 to
paid
Change the form of the verb
pay
show examples
 for double
of
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apply
show examples
doctors, medicine and wellness
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 for their everyday healthcare. But
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 are not
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a machine
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machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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, external resources cannot repair our body to be
as
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apply
show examples
a new one.
However
Linking Words
, I believe the best way is not to
overtaken
Wrong verb form
overtake
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 medicine in
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 but to exercise
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
internal
Correct article usage
the internal
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 of the body. It would constantly maintain physical
health
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, It is
good
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a good
show examples
 idea for
people
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 who can
paid
Change the verb form
pay
be paid
show examples
 their
money
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 to afford their
health
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 if they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
really lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 but it would be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
best if
people
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 could spend a little
time
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 in their day for the exercises.
Submitted by meeny_tm on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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