IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building.Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #smoke #places #people
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Recently, smoking in public areas has been restricted in numerous countries.While some
people
Use synonyms
 who smoke are complaining about the rules.Personally, I firmly agree with
this
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 statement due to the negative effects of smoking.
This
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 essay will provide both my opinions and
supportive
Replace the word
supporting
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 reasons.
First
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 of all, smoking causes many physical health issues in the long term,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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 lung cancer, heart disease, stroke, and not only for
people
Use synonyms
 who have been smoked but for all
people
Use synonyms
 in the surroundings as the air contains smoke.It is clearly unfair for
non smoking
Add a hyphen
non-smoking
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to inhale toxic air passively.Especially, in a closed space with no flowing air
such
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 as an office.
Therefore
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, the mental health of non-smokers might
also
Linking Words
 be affected.As they know that cigarettes are harmful
although
Linking Words
 they could not escape from the smoke in the room even not from themselves.Another problem
from
Change preposition
with
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Add an article
a cigarette
the cigarette
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cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
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 is that the smell is unpleasant for some others.Once the smell gets absorbed by hair,
clothings
Replace the word
clothes
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, or other textiles, it could stay for a whole day long and
difficult
Add a missing verb
is difficult
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 to get rid
off
Change preposition
of
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 can easily increase levels of stress for individuals who are not fans of
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
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. In conclusion, smoking areas should be available in any public
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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 including buildings, for the convenience of smokers
thus
Linking Words
 they do not need to leave the building and comfort in
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 safety of
non smokers
Add a hyphen
non-smokers
show examples
.For the fairest way, individuals have to be
stricted
Correct your spelling
restricted
 to the regulations.
Submitted by pppppp on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
What to do next:
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