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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the changes in the ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in the ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The below graphs depict the percentage of usage of electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 and the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent per week on house chores like washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning between the years 1920 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the ownership of the
appliances
Use synonyms
 is the lowest at the beginning,
whereas
Linking Words
 towards the end it peaks at the highest.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the increase in the use of
appliances
Use synonyms
 has resulted in a decrease in the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on housework. To commence with, the ownership of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electrical gadgets is the lowest in the year 1920 and
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
peaked at around 100 per cent between the years 1960 and 2019.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
show examples
 utilization of electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 from the year 1960 till 2019, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on housework has decreased from 30
hours
Use synonyms
 to around 10
hours
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the year
1920
Add a comma
,1920
show examples
 the percentage of usage of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
, Refrigerator and Vaccum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 are 40, 30 and 0 per cent respectively.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on daily housework was 40
hours
Use synonyms
 which is the highest of all the years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words appliances, hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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