IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #habits #age #group #factors
There are a number of factors that can affect
people
’s
consumption
 habits
such
 as
age
, financial conditions and gender
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
.
Therefore
, from my point of view,
age
 is simply one of them. It is undeniable that
age
 does
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a profound impact on what
people
 consume.
People
 in their different stages of life have various concepts including value
concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts
show examples
 and
consumption
concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts
show examples
. Generally, the elderly usually don’t shop for fun, but just for some daily necessities.
By comparison
, the younger tend to enjoy the fun of shopping and buy many newfangled gadgets which may actually be quite useless.
Moreover
, the pattern of
consumption
also
 varies from
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 to
people
 of different ages.
For instance
, the elderly are more likely to go to some warehouse stores due to the slow-paced living style, in comparison to
younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
show examples
 generation, who may tend to choose some more efficient ways like delivery. Apart from the
age
, there are many other factors that contribute to the shopping habits. Financial conditions
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
, undoubtedly, a crucial
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. For the rich, luxury items might be part of their daily
consumption
, while for
people
 who are not that well off these staff are not affordable.
Also
, gender should be considered. Typically, the men do not make as many comparisons as the women do before making the final decisions, especially
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some occasions like choosing clothes which may be deemed as torment for some
people
. To sum up, I believe that
age
 is an important factor that affects one’s shopping pattern, but not the only one. Many other aspects can
also
 have a strong impact as well.
Submitted by 59213142 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption patterns
  • digital natives
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar stores
  • target demographic
  • disposable income
  • consumer behavior
  • market segmentation
  • purchasing power
  • retail therapy
  • brand loyalty
  • impulse buying
  • price-sensitive
  • cross-generational
What to do next:
Look at other essays: