IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there is more advantage to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Over the two or three decades, with the development in myriad areas, especially in science and technology, there has been a tendency
of living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
 in a flat or apartment rather than
living
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in a
house
Punctuation problem
house,
show examples
 as some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is essential for their
diurnal
Correct word choice
daily
show examples
 activities.
However
Linking Words
, some folks still love to live in their own
home
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 a variety of benefits. I believe that there exist more pros than cons to
this
Linking Words
 trend, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will outline the advantages and disadvantages of the above-mentioned situation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I will start by looking at the benefits of living in a house. One of the most important aspects of living in one's own
home
Use synonyms
 is freedom.
For instance
Linking Words
, the owner can build his living place
according to
Linking Words
 his plan
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 he can decorate it with his own creative ideas. Maybe he can arrange some places for gardening, a playing area for children and a study area with a small library.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 who live in a
home
Use synonyms
 would not get disturbed by the other houses as they are located far apart, and they can
also
Linking Words
 enjoy the fresh air, which helps to improve their physical well-being.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the public who live in their own place
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 no need
of paying
Change preposition
to pay
show examples
annual or monthly rent. Today, with the economic crisis, the majority of society suffers as their remuneration is much less than their expenses. Some communities have to reserve the rent of the apartment or flat from their salary
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can
bring them
Verb problem
sometimes be
show examples
 a burden
sometimes
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in their own habitats may lack some infrastructure facilities. Water and electricity,
for example
Linking Words
,
maybe
Use the right word
may
show examples
 not be obtained by the
people
Use synonyms
,especially those who live in rural areas. As a result, they may face difficulties in their day-to-day activities. Most of the time
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
 might find it difficult to enter their children into a well-recognised school as they are far away from the town. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some citizens believe that it is more advantageous to live in a flat, I think it is more beneficial if they can live in their own
home
Use synonyms
 in terms of fresh air, freedom
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will affect their physical health
as well as
Linking Words
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 mental health.

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Task Response
The essay does answer the task and gives a view that owning a home has more good points, but many ideas are not well built. Add clear main points for house and for apartment, and tie them to the ask.
Structure
Make the body with a clear rule: one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence that says what you will talk about in that paragraph.
Grammar
Use simple and short sentences. Break long lines into two or three shorter ones to avoid errors.
Coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example'.
Strength
Clear view that owning a home has more benefit
Strength
Use of sequence words such as 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • maintenance costs
  • upkeep
  • amenities
  • security
  • lock-and-leave lifestyle
  • commute
  • affordable
  • shared walls
  • suburbs
  • outdoor area
  • restrictions
  • responsibilities
What to do next:
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