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Band 3

Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History.Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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Introduction
Some other
people
Use synonyms
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
an opinion
show examples
 that
History
Use synonyms
 is an essential
subject
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 academic.On the opposition ,in
this
Linking Words
 new
era
Add a comma
,era
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 should be focused more.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 are
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 essential
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the
subject
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in the world.
Body paragraph 2
Because of
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 world has been developed rapidly and still changing.
For example
Linking Words
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
,televisions,
airplane
Fix the agreement mistake
airplanes
show examples
 etc
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Linking Words
This
Correct pronoun usage
These
show examples
 all
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 studied
science
Use synonyms
 and able to produce good outcomes.If
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 given
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 important part
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 studies
people
Use synonyms
 of thinking power will increase too.
Body paragraph 3
If there is more
technology
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 do not have to work by physically,nor have to suffer.
Now days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 get more job opportunities with good salary those who had studied
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 than the
history
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 4
So it should
be gives
Change the verb form
be given
show examples
 more essential to
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 5
Other opposition says
history
Use synonyms
 should
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 more essential
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
.Because
history
Use synonyms
 tells about the ancient culture.In
oder
Correct your spelling
order
 to preserve culture,should learn more
Use synonyms
history
Change preposition
about history
show examples
.Maintaining own culture and
traditional
Replace the word
traditions
show examples
 is important to preserve own country.so that's why
history
Use synonyms
 should be given more
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 academic.
Conclusion
Last
Linking Words
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 a list
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 should be studied more in
oder
Correct your spelling
order
 to develop
Linking Words
further
Correct your spelling
furthermore
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
in future.As given in
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
 sentence
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 can make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lifestyle easier and makes
more
Correct pronoun usage
them more
show examples
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
.In the
Add a comma
,mean
show examples
mean
Correct your spelling
meanwhile
show examples
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
History
Use synonyms
 should be taken as
minor
Add an article
a minor
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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