IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
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In recent
day
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days
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, the
environment
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 is
more
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apply
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changing due to the development of the world. According to some
people
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, the main
of
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
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environmental
show examples
Use synonyms
problems
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problem
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 is the disappearance of particular
species
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 of
plants
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 and
animals
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. While others believe that there are more important environmental
problems
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 in the world. In my opinion, there are even bigger causes of concern.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are more imperative issues of the
environment
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. Global warming,
green house
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greenhouse
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 or climate change, which are making threats against human
life
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, is even more alarming
problems
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 worldwide.
For instance
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, there are
thousand
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thousands
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 of
people
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died
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who died
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 every year because of natural
disaster
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disasters
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. I believe that if we do not have any method to solve these
problems
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, human
life
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 would be getting worse.
Secondly
Linking Words
, along with
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
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problems
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threats
Correct word choice
and threats
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 to human
life
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, water pollution which
contributed
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is contributed
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 by waste from industry
area
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areas
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 and garbage from some
people
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 without no sense, is leading to
effect
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an effect
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to
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on
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 human health.
For example
Linking Words
, a large of
people
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 are facing
to
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apply
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health
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a health
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problem
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problems
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such
Linking Words
 as cancer or cholera because they were using unclearly water or dirty food. I think protecting
fresh water
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freshwater
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 from becoming polluted should take
the
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apply
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priority.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the main problem that
people
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 believe that particular
species
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 of
plants
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as well as
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, as well as animals,
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animals
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is
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are
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 losing
,
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apply
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 is the imbalance in nature. The imbalance ecosystem is
actually
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an actually
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significant
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a significant
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 issue, that would be
leaded
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led
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 to
lose
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loss
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a
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of a
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large number of essential sources
to
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of
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 human
life
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.
For example
Linking Words
, human is taking the house of the number of
animals
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 by cutting down
tree
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a tree
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 for their
benefits
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benefit
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. Not only makes a lot of
difference
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different
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species
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plants
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 reduce but
also
Linking Words
animals
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 do not have
place
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a place
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 to exist. To summarize,
although
Linking Words
 the disappearance of particular
species
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 of
plants
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 and
animals
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 is an
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
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problems
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problem
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 that we need to carry about, we should focus on
another issues
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another issue
other issues
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 about
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environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
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 which is more
harm
Replace the word
harmful
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 human
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by trankhanhnhi on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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