With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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day and age, there is no doubt that the development of the
internet
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has made our people's lives a lot easier and more convenient
while
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some individuals think that it has more drawbacks than benefits. In my personal opinion, I disagree that the disadvantages overshadow the advantages and I will explain why in the paragraphs. First and foremost, it is undeniable that the
internet
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is playing an important role in
this
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age and era since everything is connected
with
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to
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the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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locally and globally. There are many things that are connected to the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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such
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as shopping, communications, education, work and so on.
For example
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, most people use social media
such
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as Facebook and Instagram to communicate with each other in an easy and fast way. Another example is that we can know the global
news
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just by checking the BBC
news
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website in a second and
news
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can be shared within a minute through
the
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apply
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social media we can know the
news
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as soon as it occurs.
On the other hand
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, children can
also
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study online via
zoom
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Zoom
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and other platforms like
google meet
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Google Meet
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and
google classroom
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Google Classroom
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.
As a result
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, they will have extra time to study and revise what they have learnt and they can
also
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save their energy.
In addition
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,
for
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apply
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the
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apply
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working people,
they
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apply
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do not have to go long
journey
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journeys
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to work and they can
also
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work from home which is very time and
energy saving
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energy-saving
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.
However
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although
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there are so many benefits, there can be many disadvantages
such
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as not being productive and being lazy by working and studying from home.
To conclude
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,
although
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there are a few drawbacks, it is undeniable that technology has made everything a lot easier and helps us to connect with everything from all around the world.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to better structure your paragraphs to ensure a clearer flow of ideas. Group related ideas together and maintain a clear line of reasoning throughout your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on some of your points to strengthen your arguments. This will help to enrich your discussion and make it more compelling.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear opinion, and you make a clear case against the idea that disadvantages outweigh the advantages. This is a good start for an argumentative essay.
task achievement
You effectively mention both the benefits and drawbacks of communication technology, which shows a balanced view of the topic.
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