With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

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day and age, there is no doubt that the development of the

internet

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has made our people's lives a lot easier and more convenient

while

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some individuals think that it has more drawbacks than benefits. In my personal opinion, I disagree that the disadvantages overshadow the advantages and I will explain why in the paragraphs. First and foremost, it is undeniable that the

internet

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is playing an important role in

this

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age and era since everything is connected

with

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show examples

the

Use synonyms

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

locally and globally. There are many things that are connected to the

Use synonyms

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

such

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as shopping, communications, education, work and so on.

For example

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, most people use social media

such

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as Facebook and Instagram to communicate with each other in an easy and fast way. Another example is that we can know the global

news

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just by checking the BBC

news

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website in a second and

news

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can be shared within a minute through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media we can know the

news

Use synonyms

as soon as it occurs.

On the other hand

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, children can

also

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study online via

zoom

Capitalize word

Zoom

show examples

and other platforms like

google meet

Correct your spelling

Google Meet

show examples

and

google classroom

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Google Classroom

show examples

As a result

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, they will have extra time to study and revise what they have learnt and they can

also

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save their energy.

In addition

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for

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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working people,

they

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apply

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do not have to go long

journey

Fix the agreement mistake

journeys

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to work and they can

also

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work from home which is very time and

energy saving

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energy-saving

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However

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although

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there are so many benefits, there can be many disadvantages

such

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as not being productive and being lazy by working and studying from home.

To conclude

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although

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there are a few drawbacks, it is undeniable that technology has made everything a lot easier and helps us to connect with everything from all around the world.

Lily Mon Apr 11 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Try to better structure your paragraphs to ensure a clearer flow of ideas. Group related ideas together and maintain a clear line of reasoning throughout your essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and elaborate on some of your points to strengthen your arguments. This will help to enrich your discussion and make it more compelling.

task achievement

Your essay has a clear opinion, and you make a clear case against the idea that disadvantages outweigh the advantages. This is a good start for an argumentative essay.

task achievement

You effectively mention both the benefits and drawbacks of communication technology, which shows a balanced view of the topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports; others, however, believe that people should be free to do whatever they choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in international travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Disucss both these view and give your own opinions.