Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time

When it comes to the topic of

children

’s

leisure

activities

, some people think these

are

Correct your spelling

area

show examples

ought to be educational,

otherwise

Add a comma

,otherwise

show examples

it’s

Unnecessary verb

show examples

will be meaningless and

time

-consuming. In my opinion. I believe that

children

should spare their free

time

on their interests

instead

of having imposed by their parents to carry out some so-called tutorial courses.

To begin

with, engaging

some

Change preposition

in some

show examples

leisure

activities

such

as singing, dancing, and painting

are

Change the verb form

show examples

essential for the

all-round

Correct your spelling

all-around

show examples

development of

children

This

is because these interests can largely improve youngsters’ thinking ability and provide

opportunity

Add an article

an opportunity

the opportunity

show examples

for them to express creativity. In

such

cases, they can indulge in hobbies deeply and make friends with like-minded people, as well as enhance their capabilities in expressing and discussing.

Furthermore

, extracurricular

activities

are essential for kids to keep healthy neither

Change preposition

apply

show examples

physical

Correct word choice

and

show examples

mental. I mean,

children

today have a hectic schedule especially when they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

start schooling.

Thus

, if we still require kids

spend

Fix the infinitive

to spend

show examples

leisure

time

activities

related to the academic content, it’s difficult for them to release their pressure from school. In

such

case

Fix the agreement mistake

cases

show examples

children

will be over-stressed, and even they will be prone to have various health problems,

such

as depression.

Therefore

children

should choose their own hobbies in their free

time

in order to keep fit physically and mentally. In conclusion, I strongly believe that

leisure

time

should be granted to

children

themselves, and it ultimately benefits

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their comprehensive development.

Submitted by Esther on Tue Apr 12 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Word Count

The diagrom shows the process by which sheep embryos are cloned. Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features.

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved.

Youth crime is increasing rapidly in many countries. Why it is increasing? and what solution can be taken to resolve the problem.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Some people believe that technology has made the lives of workers easier whilst other people disagree. To what extent do you agree or disagree?